if only i could.

2008-06-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

i've moved to http://xanga.com/hearmesay_eeka
i wont be linking people but it will be nice if u guys link me.
if u dont want to, then it wont bother me either. (:
happy visiting loves.

2008-06-12T15:14:00.001+08:00

I GIVE UP LAHHHHHH WITH THIS BLOGGERRRR!
IF ONLY THIS THING HAS A HEAD~

I WILL PULL IT OUT LIKE A SOTONG HEAD!
GRRRR!

2008-06-11T19:58:00.002+08:00

( i have the worst eyebag. yikes )

i know i havent been updating. i know i havent been going home early.
i know i havent been getting enough sleep.
so yeah, im trying my best to update more often ( try eh. )
stay at home and get enough sleep. (:
and i havent been going to school for extra lessons too. :/ im starting to worry and i should start doing some revision real soon.

alright, last week was ookay. the gig was ookay.
everything was ookay except something.
eldest sister wont talk to me and not just that, she said something. ):

&how i wish the dream was real, and we were really close friends like last time my dear friend.

2008-06-04T05:20:00.000+08:00

( should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements )

mama went off to umrah today.
im officially missing her.
how am i gonna live without a mother in the house for two weeks?
who am i gonna turn to?
im scared the housechores wont be divided equally.
*sigh
i pray that u will have a safe journey to and fro.
i love u a lot. <3

got home, slept.
called kikie.
baked brownies.
texted gfs cause i missed them.
i fetch them under my block. came walking to them crying.
hugged.
told them my problems and i've made my decision.
now, i just need to talk to susan.
they came my homey after that, they cheered me up by making jokes. (:
they cooked and we ate like monsters.
and now syaf is already at home.
the rest are still playing cards.

im off to bed now.

thank you girls.

2008-06-03T02:33:00.003+08:00

( chicky poxy is still loved )
so far no connection problem eh susan. good.

wan gave a wake up call at 11am. damn it.
woke up and got myself ready to meet
him, farah, sam and yati.
i had to be his fashion consultant ( cey~ ) for one day.
shopped till nak mampos. same goes to sam and farah.
its okay, at least i got myself something. (:
in the evening, they went off for wan's dance prac at istana park
while i went to east coast to meet eefah and fazillah for telek session.
haa! it was cool, surprising and upset.
but lets not believe in it too much.
eefah&fazillah - chill about the confusion and the break up thing okay?
get ur butts off to my homey today and i'll be happy to cheer u girls up <3

and ! zairul cancelled my shift for this saturdaaayyyy.
hip to the hurray! :D

neneh and nonoh (:

goodnight!

2008-06-02T03:11:00.009+08:00

( and even though i really love u, im gonna smile cause i deserve to )

im back :D
&im bored. was chatting with susan about this girl just now and she went offline just like that?
connection problem huh? chat with me soon! and right now im chatting with iqah. thank god shes online. i miss her like only god knows.

soo, the short trip was fun. everything went well.
the villa was nice.
the view from the balcony was breathtaking!
the room was really cold ( weird.)
the wedding food was delicious.
the seafood was even superb!
the bride was lovely, gorgeous.
the groom was .. handsome
the decorations was ookay.
the cousins were there.
the environment was kecoh.
everythingggg was just nice and congratulations to dearest kak noi.

& i soo cant wait to meet gfs, kikie and friends! i miss them like hell even though we're away for like only 2 days. haa!

iqah iqah, thank thank you you. i still love u even when u make me drip and call me dripper.

( oh, wedding pictures will be post up soon. )
im off to bed now. i need to wake up early. & no, i wont be going to school to collect report book, but somewhere else. (:

p.s. im still gonna stay strong <3

2008-05-31T02:31:00.000+08:00

( maybe its just me. )

after hours of holding it back, i finally let out my tears.
i cant stand it anymore. i was irritated, frustrated and pissed off.
is that all u can say or do?
im not mad at just u but in fact, all.

i should start packing now. find a suitable baju kebaya and iron it.
then i'll probably go out right after this.

takecare loves!

2008-05-30T01:36:00.006+08:00

i promised syaf fitri samsuri i upload chalet pictures. yang da lamerrrr tuuu.
so enjoy looking at it.

hasif seventeenth bday. dress code: black white.

chaleeeettt ' 07

2008-05-30T01:13:00.003+08:00

( " shake shake shake ur money maker! " )

im bored. like seriously dead bored. just came back from meeting kikie and now i dont know what to do.
the usual pple are not online. my sisters are asleep.
):

and i miss eating doughnuts already. which wan and i did on tuesday! :D
we actually thought of catching a movie at eHub but we ended up eating doughnuts. we bought one dozen, he only ate 3 and i had to finish up the rest.
-_-
and then mama, zea, adek and me didnt went home but instead we had supper and ice cream at east coast. we should do that more often dont u guys think? <3

and i had my fnn practical on wednesday.
everything went well except that i dint had enough time to do the last dish.
but im fine with it cos im not that sure to cook the last dish. haa!
after practical, grabbed some food with parents and rushed to work.

and today i gave extra lessons a miss to get enough rest.
oh yes, i guess i wont be updating this weekend or until im free.
im off to malaysia for cousin's wedding. so dont msg or call me on saturday for a meet up.

get well soon love! and im still missing u.

2008-05-26T04:21:00.001+08:00

( LOVEEES~ )

was bored so changed template.
yeah its simpleee, who cares.

now that evrything is done except for some things. er ignore em.
im off to bed now! muah muah!

2008-05-26T02:39:00.011+08:00

( speechless )

saturday was iosuhgubasp.

firstly, about 7th june presale tix.

i was already late. mama dint agree to send me to cityhall becos she said it was jauh -__-

and susan already collected hers. so i had to go down to cityhall alone and right after i arrived cityhall, farah called and asked if i wanted to be in her shooting project at that point of time, but i cant, sorry!

then find posb atm machine macam nak mati so i decided to go find it myself.

from funan to penin to cityhall mrt station to raffles city and back to penin. like one crazy girl eh.

thank god the person understand, waited for me and said it was okay.

(: phew~

secondly, dont ask me why i wasnt in the mood after i met the rest & the friends.

okay maybe i dont wanna type it down here. whatever happens on saturday or maybe saturday night, im really sorry.

maybe i was just being foolishly overreacting?

and all this is kinda making me harder to decide on what to do.

.......

maybe i shouldnt give up yet.

2008-05-24T02:49:00.003+08:00

( susan don~ )

catching up with susan don was funnn~ one day was not enough.
so we both decided to cabut sch together. okay maybe not me but her.
lets cabut sch again lah kay ?
wait, maybe no. hah.

and then, i finally came to school. was bored but attendance was also important.
so dragged my ass to school. dudok, played cards, talked, laughed then went home.
basically thats it. even for today.
oh ya we had class photo taking recently. everyone was excited for funshot becos we wore something underneath our skirts and pants.
but sadly, mr-form-teacher just had to spoil it. damn i hate u. ):
grr!
and our report books~
yeah secondary four normal acad doesnt have a parents meeting session.
so we get to bring back our report books. but again, mr-form-teacher didnt allow us to bring it home becos he wants to meet our parents individually.
-__- sukaati lah.

enjoy looking at our burok faces (:

ttaa!

2008-05-20T03:24:00.002+08:00

( farah kepo! )

): he said he is not sleeping, at last dier tido! hmph!
diam ah~

dont ask me why im not sleeping yet. ( i dont feel like sleeping ler. )
though, i am sleepy.
): k.

sometimes i feel like im living with only five person.
sometimes i feel like the family is missing one person. sometimes i feel like u're not part of the family becos u're not always at home.
2nd sister;adek. i love being with her, i love her presence.
i tend to check elder sisters' room to see if shes there lying down on her bed, sleeping.
but no, u're always not there.
u guys dont know how happy am i to see her at home.
u dont know how happy am i when she take me out, even if it is just to 7eleven. ( heh. )
u dont know how happy am i when i see her online.
i dont understand why work has to take her away from me, or maybe the whole family.
i dont understand why she enjoy staying at the other home than this lovely home.
how i wish sometimes she would know how i feel.
i miss her a lot. a lot, a lot. only God knows.
its weird that we live under the same roof, but we rarely get to see each other.

alrighty.
hopefully i can go meet susan tmrw and talk, talk, gossip, laugh, laugh.
cry also can ah.
cos tmrw no school! for me, that is.
biaser lah. buat holiday sendiri. :D

2008-05-19T04:21:00.002+08:00

( SECOND POST FOR TODAAAAYYY (: )

im bored. i dont know what to do.
i cant sleep.
nobody is online. probably everyone sleeping like pigs :p
nobody to talk on the phone with cause most of them are outside.

i wanna eat pizza and i suddenly miss nana.
and i miss kikie & susan already.
fcuk. i just hate it when i cant sleep or i'll go start missing people ):

&my little mister random is getting worse. eek! :/
k, im left with 11hours to sleep. shooooooo~

2008-05-19T02:31:00.003+08:00

( johan & zainal ~ )
shall just update since im sleeping late and there will be no school tomorrow.
:DDD

saturday was ookay. went out late becos i woke up late (:
swear herda looked sweet with makeup on but too bad her date with fad was cancelled due to some reasons. ):
sooooo, likeee finaaally eh. finally i met up with susan & munir.
its been long time since we three met and talked crap eh.
i soo miss last year. kan susan ?
went back pasir ris with pasir ris people. and kikie was so sweet cause he came down to pasir ris to meet me. <33
slacked around my house, talked loudly like nobody's business. hah!
and went home right before ayah bangun.

ini syafie. dier cuteee banget~ oh! and slenge (:
no mater.
ader mater.

i love herda, iqah & syaf!

i heard ayat ayat cinta is a nice movie! I WANNNAAAA WATCHHHH~

2008-05-16T14:50:00.001+08:00

( i miss ffffaaarrraaahhh~ )

school was a waste of time. our class venue has changed.
and we simply did nothing in school. except, went through eng and fnn paper.
then yeah, basically thats it. we only did those two things in school.
shouldnt have gone to school. but at least, effy was there.
we talked otp, we played cards and played diff games.
lucky thing, there will be no school on monday eh.

&working alone without syaf, iqah, irah & ronnel around wasnt that bad afterall.
at least, i made new partners. (:

alright! im off to get some lunch.
and then will be making lots of kecoh at work with iqah and syaf today. ( hopefully kecoh. )
:D

2008-05-14T18:44:00.002+08:00

( finally shes updating (: )

okay. i havent been updating due to mye.
but now its over, so yeah. (:
mye was okaaayyy~ i gave both malay paper one and two a miss becos i was really sick.
and i dint went for my last paper, literature paper two becos i woke up late.
damn it. i guess, zero lah eh.
and today is marking dayyy. hurray! and now, i dont wish to go to sch tmrw.
can ? i think can lah.

and oh, since evryone is like updating bout mother's day.
let me tell what the whole family did on sunday. ( okay, maybe not the whole family )
i went out with pasir ris people to cityhall on sat to get something for mama.
we went round round the marina square. i tell u, we even split up to find something.
at last, i bought something for mama at famous amos.
then, i helped acit got something for mummy at diva.

on sunday, adek woke us up and we gave the gifts we bought for her.
i love the look on her face. it says like " YAYY! :DDD "
and then, we had dinner at busorah st. ( SEE THAT SUSAN! BUSSORAH STREET~ :DD )
after dinner, mama insisted on getting some desserts.
so we went T2 and had ice cream at this restaurant. (:
okay dah.

oh ya, dearest cousins sleptover last week. thanks for the oreo doughnut.
( penyet pun penyet lah (: )
&eefahmok busy sleeping after we reached my house but thank you fazilahh for temaning and listening to my problem late at night. <33

oh yeah, i've been dreaming a lot bout this lady. ( lady eh. )
i think u know lah susan. i've dreamt bout it once.
but yeah, i miss u a lot. many, banyak, belambak, loads, full.
i hope ur assignments will get lesser so u will be free to meet me.
&stop stressing eh. loves! (:

alright, im off to meet aidah now. she needs me. gah :/

2008-05-02T13:27:00.003+08:00

school is like giving me one major headache. and im like having fever due to exams and studies. /:
thank god mama came and fetch me after my paper.
and now she is making me porridge. <333

im sorry syaf becos of this sickness, i wasnt that kecoh ystd. but u see, i was trying so hard to be hyper and stuffs. thnks for teman-ing though.
and i hope takde mama talk to u lagik at mrt station. (:

so yesterday, striked out plan with susan. went out with syaf, met my cousins&friends.
the boys were late. sumpah, eeka frustrated.
but erm im sorry if i was being moody and was sarcastic towards some.
blame this sickness. okayy, i still feel bad.
sorrrryyyy~
and yeah, sorry for not saying hi back at u. ice creaaaammm siaaap~ promise! :D

then i met up with kikieeee. say yay! " YAAAYYYY~ "
evrything was fine but i saw something which i didnt like.
i dont care what the letter represents or what.
but its permanent that bugs me.
gosh. why do i always .. okay nvm.

u still owe me doughnuts baybehhhh~ (:

and im like shivering cold and kept having goosebumps even though the weather is like hot.

gahh~ off to lala land now.

2008-04-30T20:21:00.001+08:00

( hah! )

i was talking to dear victoria and khai at the watercooler near boy's toilet, talking bout mr-form-teacher being emo in class. khai was the one who told me but suddenly he kept denying it. the next thing i knew, mr-form-teacher walked down from the staircase. and i dint hear any footsteps! means he could have stopped and heard what we talked bout. or should i say, what i talked about. shit shit shit.
im dead. ?

but anyhoos, sch was fun~ probably becos full attendance almost evryday. and evryone was somehow high and just wont stop making me laugh. lalaaa (:
i like it this way.
and tmrw no schooool~ yay!
but i have plans. everything is clash clash clash.
i wanna go out with susan. but i have plans with syaf too. and i wanna meet kikie also since we havent meet for few weeks. and andddd i wanna meet my fairuza and fazilah and go town with them.
):
its okay, its alright.
figure out a way to meet all. go eeka! :D

2008-04-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

like finally im done with this decision making.
i had to redo the whole thing because Mdm-Fnn thinks im stating shits. hah!
hopefully she will approve it now. (:

oh guess whattt...? the feeling is coming back.
im getting all lazy to revise stuffs. shit shit shit shit.
this cant be happening. get up eeka!

2008-04-27T19:54:00.001+08:00

( eeeekkaaaa~ )

susan is so pemalas. tell me to online and end up she went offline.
so i have to get pics from ayu instead.

so yeahh, let the pic do the talking for friday and saturday.

we're back.

ayu and friend.

the girls i went out with that night.

mantoto like slenge. tahu amek pic ke tidak tah dier.

saturday-

zyk was singing " babygirl, u're on my mind to fulfill my fantasyyy~" hah!

okay so i went to teman munir. talked bout problems and stuffs.

then he headed home while i met my loves and we ate supper together.

headed to herda's crib and everybody was like sleeping, if not, trimming their eyebrow.

so me and zyk talked craps all the way.

we watched dvd and then me and iqah headed home.

im supposed to meet kikie today but i guess not, since he's gonna finish his wrkshop late.

damn ):

2008-04-26T20:33:00.000+08:00

its saturday and im at home.
wanted to go studying but some of them wanna go tamp instead.
while friend will go out with me and will have to separate at marina for dance prac.
other friends having shooting project session.
and while another friend is busy with other friends.
pfft.

i simply cant get my butts off to go study/revise stuffs cause not in the mood.
and evrybody in the house is being such annoying shits. k sorry.
i think its just me and smethng made me burst to tears. fcuk~
and i dont wish to follow my parents to dinner so dont ask me a lot of ques.
grr~
well, lucky munir is online and gonna accompany me all the way.
( yes yes, im lucky to have a friend like u (: )

oh, did i tell u that ystd was fun~
i dont know how to explain, maybe someone could define fun for me.
:D

but now,
im bored.
i feel like crying.
i wanna go shopping.
i want famous amos cookies.
i want to meet girlfies.
i want to meet kikie.

but too bad all that is not gonna happen.
im off to meet munir and herda & irah love now.
t. o . o . d . l . e . s .

2008-04-24T23:48:00.001+08:00

( school girl in adek's DC hooooodddieeeee~ )

okaaayyy~ im proud to say that nurul atyqa bte zainal managed to go study almost everydayyy!
yay yay yay yay yay yay.
okay so after sch, i know i'll dooze off if i go lie down on the sofa like usual.
so i bathe, ate lunch and off to marine parade library evryday, alone.
yes alone (:
why marine parade library? simply because whitesands and tampines library sucks?
bedok? i dont know where. haha.
and oh, smething happened over there on tuesday. which totally brighted up my day. aww~
then ayah or mama will then fetch me after my studying session and they'll kept saying im hiding something or someone from them. ? hmph.

on monday, got a free ride to lib cos adek working at east coast.
and i took the same cab (:
on tuesday too.
and on wednesday, zea came to visit me. it was hard to concentrate though.
then ayah ended work late that night, so dragged myself to McCafe to get caramel frappe and continued studying while zea went back pasir ris.
on thursday, which is today.
i went esp lib instead due to some reasons. i hate today cos simply nothing went inside my head as i was reaaaally sleepy.
maybe i should take a break ?
and oh, i managed to meet ayu and aqidah at last.
we're going out again tmrw to OAG performance at powerhouse.
WHEEEEE~

she wasnt really closing her eyes.

except for this.

makcik kepo.

2008-04-20T18:27:00.002+08:00

( we only said good-bye with words )

saturday was well spend even though we didnt went to town.
instead, we went to pasir ris beach and had picnic to celebrate black's belated bday. (:

i had to go to herda's crib first to cook food and we went to buy loads of tidbits.
it was funny because we spend almost 30min or so choosing what to buy.
and then while waiting for bobo, me and herda watched mtvcribs.
damn~ i hate to watch that. if only u people know.
those bedrooms, living room(s), wardrobes, kicks, cars. damn it.
but,
im fine with what i have now. :D

and then headed to pasir ris beach and ate a lot. it was good becos the money me and herda spend on was not wasted.
evrything was okay except for my blck nose and soar throat.
and and the tummy which hurts due to laughing too much and so hard.
after that, most of them slept while others was talking bout adult stuffs.
lucky kikie called and i had someone to accompany me. (:
and then the boys slept while the girls sat by the waterbreaker, talked bout stuffs and watched sun rise.
we wanted to go home early but herda kept delaying it becos topics was getting interesting.
hah!
afte talking and lauging, again. we walked to mac and had breakfast. yay~

and now im freaking hungry. mama is not at home, she dint even cook before leaving home.
ayah cant take me out to eat cause he'll be leaving back to work soon.
grr~

ayu wasnt wearing tudong. hah!

the girl who wont let me rest and will keep me laughing.

syafie buffie.

irah is a crazygirl. dont go near her or u'll get ur tummy hurt due to laughing too much.

cake from chocz~

happy eh satu satu.

shikin and me was bored. so yeah~

kikieeeeee~

okay done.

tmrw is monday, schooling day. tak favourite nyeeee~

2008-04-18T20:26:00.002+08:00

( i guess all of us miss those times back then huh. )

im not doing good. with nose yang macam tap water. gah~
sch was okay in the morning part, only. farah came at last. (:
and then i didnt know what happened during fnn lesson, really.
i was sleeping because i wasnt feeling well. sya was with me cause she was sleepy too.
i hope u're reading this khai. doesnt mean im friends with them, i joined them stole smething in the class. hope u're not mad or smething or what. or i dont know (:

after school. slept after took a bath. i didnt get to sleep or rest well cause i was having difficulty breathing from this block nose! damn it.
ayid suggested that i shouldnt sleep with the air-con or fan on.
wah~ like want me to die like that kan.
err and then lets see, me and susan was supposed to meet someone.
uhuh~ and then dont ask me why. hmph ape ape lah.

&i havent been seeing this little girl in sch.
i heard from fara and zu about what u told me before.
i hope u're doing fine and got the msg i gave.
i miss u and i wanna see u in school soon! please .

2008-04-17T15:14:00.003+08:00

( LOL~ )
happy birthday to blackkkkkkk!~
dah tua dier. can kahwin alrdy. (:

i just came back from sch. farah didnt came today and i havent been seeing her.
rindu kapeeee~
i didnt had my 2.4km run because it was drizzling. nyeah!
thank god cause u guys dont know how tired and lazy am i today.
but school was okay. quite fast eh time terbang, tomorrow will be friday.
yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay~

oh ya, did i mention that the caramel cheesecake i baked was delicious and tak terbantut mcm orang tu punye dulu. :D
yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay~
k sorry.
i am sooooo hungry and i wanna eat!
the last time i ate was during recess, gosh.
hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry.
and i have hmewrks to do ):
and and i miss adek cause she promised me that shes coming back home yesterday. ):

2008-04-15T19:32:00.003+08:00

ahh~ skarisma gig was fun like hell!
i enjoyed myself after all those moody and mundane days i had the whole week.
(:
skank and dance with susan and zee like nobody's business.
and swear i kept laughing throughout the gig cos zee was plain crazy~
but one thing that wasnt nice is that the room kan, small and stuffy gituk.
and i cant breathe like almost all the time. pfft.

we didnt take pictures becos maybe all of us were too tired but me, syaf and zee managed to take one. (:

&anw, sch is okay so far. im just not looking forward to thursday cause i'll be having 2.4km run. damn.
i hate long-distance run.
gah~

okay, i wanna go bake smethng to test for my evaluation day coming.

2008-04-13T01:48:00.009+08:00

i dont know why but i find blogger irritating these days. ass~
or is it just me?.

well, today is saturday. or should i say yesterday.
something kinda spoil my mood early today and made me cry.
gosh. and i had to think for quite a long time whether i should go out or not.
but at last i did and ended up feeling very irritated towards everything. and it was simple outing.
i dint really had fun but i did tried to calm down and relax. and laugh at every jokes they made.
at last, i went home by myself. oh well, not really.
khai went back with me. we took train while the rest stayed and took bus home.

i hope i can enjoy myself today just becos i dint get to yesterday. hopefully.
i wanna have fun ):
but before that, i need to go get enough sleep and rest.
so ya, talking bout this, i'll have to sleep at kakak's room today becos mama kinda register for this student home-stay programme or aper entah.
yeah, two chinese girls, one from KC and another from anglo-chi currently staying here for one day only just to learn more about our religion cos they took malay as their second language.
kinda cool and cute how mama ayah talked and taught them some things. even brought them out to some malay historical places.
oh ya, another thing. ayah cannot really pronounce their name that properly and called them siti and sarah instead. how cute!
hah okay, i dint really get to know them that well yesterday and i hope i can today cause they're leaving soon.

niteys lovelies!

burok eeka, burok. hah!

2008-04-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

FINALLY DIER CALL ~ :D

2008-04-12T00:37:00.000+08:00

( fazillah ! rmbr the left guy, arep ? hahaha~ )
so, second post for the day ? must be bored huh eeka ?
yes, bored, dead bored. bored like hell.
im chewing bubble gum. im deleting mats off my friendster list.
im listening to the way that i love you by ashanti.
im chatting with khai and raudha only.
im browsing through pictures.
im waiting for kikie's msg till now.
yes, now u know.

i wanna sleep but i cant.
i wanna eat something but theres nothing nice to eat.
i wanna go out now but please dont be mrepek eeka.
i wanna watch dvds but my fav is not with me.
i want brownies and cookies please.
i wanna talk on the phone but iqah still havent call me up yet.

okay, its nice to be with someone at home today because im always alone. yes, all of them are working except for me who is still schooling. but mama is asleep now.
so, no difference.

im waiting. waiting for loads of things.
hah! da lah stop.

2008-04-11T20:47:00.001+08:00

update eeka, update.
nothing much happened this week.

but let me tell u what i've been doing.

at 6.05am, wake up and get ready for school.
feeling sleepy all the way in class. and hungry too.
went home straight after school.
sleep or went to get some rest at home.
kakak will be my alarm clock and will always wake me up at 7pm.
eat dinner
went to complete my homeworks or coursework.
off to bed at 12+am but end up sleeping at 2+am

and the list will go on repeating.
-___-

i havent been eating that much these days and i just dont know why.
not diet eh. im not even fat or buncit or what.
im fit (: k, so not.
but its obviously not going on a diet or smething.
and i've been losing thngs and misplacing em.
careless i know or maybe i forgot where i put my stuffs. (stm?)
and too careless that i locked my desk and dint even rmbr that i left my keys inside it.
hah! and now my lock is gone and have to go get new one.

wake up and stop being so slenge eeka~

2008-04-07T00:49:00.003+08:00

( ah ah, mama aku ajar pakai shades malam malam under blk. )

friday. went out with fazillah and fairuza, they brought the guys.
so i brought wan.
i felt like as if i had to buy something and my tgn was gatal, like i have to spend my money.
so, we shopped at the same shopping place and somehow it was a fast one.
and i got myself volcom pump shoeeeeesss~

on saturday, went out late. me and herda had to plan what cake we need to buy.
so we dint want people to waste the cake and let them sabo bday girls instead of eating them.
so we both, bought palm-size cake for irah and syaf just for themselves.
i managed to get syaf down ystd. and after sms-ing and pakat with wan,
me, herda and acit surprised them with the small cake. weeee~

see. happy advance bday sayangs.
and today is 7th April. happy bday to dearest epy too! (:

and eeka was a happy girl ystd. i get to meet evryone who i want to meet. YAY!
but im sorry i dint get to spend much time with u guys cause maybe was busy with other things.
and to make sure i spend enough time with them, i called up iqah, syaf and herda.
and we went studying today. okay, maybe more to gosipping and laughing our lungs out on lame jokes.
(:

happy schooling tmrw.

biler lah Nlevel nak habes....

2008-04-03T21:04:00.001+08:00

(i love my parents and they're the most lovely and cutest thing on earth.)

im done with eng hmwk and now stressing about FnN coursework.
why do they have to come up such research to do ?
im wayyyy far behind time and i need to do smething about this.

and ooh~ i stayed back for malay oral so i dont have to next week and im the first three who went first so, i got home early.
the oral was easssyyy and malay orals doesnt have any picture discussion thats why im always confident for any malay orals. (:
hope i score well.

and have i tell u people that ystrday at 1+am epy called. but i was sleeping so i silent it and threw the hp aside. i dreamt something about her and her boyf.
before i went off to sch just now, i called her and asked why she called.
she told me why and stuffs.
what happened between her and her boyf at that time when i was sleeping was exactly what i dreamt.
yes, the story she told me.
whoo~ creepy.

2008-04-03T16:40:00.006+08:00

it has already been two weeks or should i say three since we last talk to each other.
i finally realise my mistake and sorry if i took so long to see or find it.

i know u were always there for me.
in a way that u'll be in any place just to make sure im safe.
if anyone bullies me, u'll make sure that person is dead.
if anyone hurt me, u'll make sure u teach that person a frigging lesson.
in a way that u get home as soon as possible to see if im fine.
u'll support me in anything i do by being there.
support me that i am strong and can stay with the intensive dance practices.
support me with words that i can do my best for any performances.
support me with my studies and know i can get better results.
making me smile by buying mrs.fields cookies or willy wonka candies.
working hard to find a job and stick with it, just to treat me whenever u get ur pay.
and in a way that u always try to be there to listen to my problems.

but i seem to ignore all these. i admit that im not thankful having u being there for me.
in fact, some of the time, i tend to let out my problems to someone else when actually u were there all the way, waiting.
sometimes, u feel better to let out things to someone else. like u did to hasif, instead of me.
i guess that explains why.
but thats not the thing.
im sorry. forgive me if im selfish, to think about myself and
to think why i hated it so much when u chose to be with him.
why im showing u how much i dont really like him whenever he is with u.
&it kinda stabbed me when u say u're willing to go with him,
rather than us.

i've never said that im embarassed to have a sister like u.
never.

but i am when u did all those things.

and i didnt mean to hurt u when i say all those or when me and friends make jokes about u and him.

maybe all i wanted was the attention back, that was lost and sorry if i made u confused.

sorry if i hurt u or anything, i dint mean to.

and i cant bare to say it to u face to face or anything.

im just too upset when u're always with him.

but its not ur fault afterall because as people grow up, they tend to find their mister.love and spend too much time with the person. forgetting that they didnt spend enough time with the person who they're very closed with.

i understand.

u can go with him and i know how much u really love him.

but just an advice that good things will come to an end

&i just wanna apologise.

i miss u, the old u i mean.

and the times we spend, the laughters we shared. (:

and the down moments we went through together last time. ):

2008-04-03T16:32:00.000+08:00

today is thursday and tomorrow is fridaayyy.
the day where students can throw uniform anywhere. can throw sch bags in store!
can sleep late and hang around until tak balek also can.
talk on the phone until the next morning.
watch tv or vcds till morning. ((((((:
okay stop.

i miss cousin.(fazilah and fairuza)
i miss my friends.
i wanna meet them this week, all of them cause i dint get to meet any last week.
i wanna go shopping.
i wanna take pictures.
i wanna laugh and make people run~
i want hugs from my friends.
i want kisses from herda.
i wanna sing songs.
i want ljs.
i want caramel frappe.
i wanna eat. (now~)

2008-03-31T22:19:00.003+08:00

(in adek's no-degree specs. HAH!)
that picture is a makcik in a room at CGH. she was bored so she took loads of pics while her sister had to go do something.

so yeah, i gave sch a miss today. (again.)
i didnt had enough sleep because accompany adek to CGH late at night cause she had asthma attack but wasnt that rabak. ayah dint send her cause they fought over a small little thing.
and she can still laugh, take pictures. make jokes.
even though she was having such difficulty to breathe.

so, stayed at home. and making sure that she wont smoke.

get well soon lah okay~ (:

2008-03-30T17:04:00.003+08:00

i cant believe that i gave the saturday outing to sentosa up with darlings just for a wrkshop.
(but it wasnt just any wrkshp.)

so, friday night i kept thinking and with the help and suggestions from rizal, ayid and munir. i finally decide to follow with the sentosa thing.
but before i can even get my eyes close and sleep, i dont know why but i decided to just go for the wrkshop since i always go out on saturdays and having fun. besides, sentosa will always be there.

so, effy was being sweet by fetching me from my house then we both walked to school.
we joined them after their first break. evrything was okay i guess.
classmates kept asking us to on our bluetooth and they passed funny photos.
i have evil classmates dont i ?
and at night, i dint really plan to give the short speech or message to my parents who came down and i dint even expect they would come down.
i have friends who cried which i dont expect them to after giving the short sweet speech and i even have friends who cried upon hearing those because their parents dint even came.
so, since both mama ayah came down, i took the courage and just say out whatever came to my mind. honestly, i dont even know what was i talking and cant rmbr a single thing.
but thats not thing, at least i told them how much i appreciate and love them.
(:

and heres something really funny. during the wrkshop, we had to close our eyes and see what we get in this box and blabla.
we all got smething that is like meaningful.
and this is what khai got.

i know it doesnt seem funny over here but i swear i laughed like one mad girl.

okay lah. sorry lah khai but cant help it u know. im sure it mean something meaningful though :D

2008-03-29T00:52:00.001+08:00

it was just ystd when they said its okay to get confused.
but this is too much.
and its just about a typical wrkshp and outing.

i feel scared, nervous, afraid, excited, sad, frustrated and angry.
all in one.

2008-03-26T16:08:00.004+08:00

finally i have the time to update.
i dont think im able to update tmrw or fri or sat.
so i update now lah (:

sch so far going on good. although i dont really understand some things, i'll make sure i go do some revision later on.

pics on last thurs~
skipped sch and followed susan to nyp.
luckily this time we both wasnt that slenge. lol.
i had fun walking from town to cityhall with her, talk bout loads of things and sat by the
riverside.

last friday~

wan asked if i wanted to go out with him and some ks and exesphunk but i had to reject cause i'll be having dinner later that night.

so, went dinner with the whole family at HIPV to celebrate ayah's bday.

had fun and happy moments. glad that evryone turn up.

and glad that ayah like the cake they present, it was somehow a surprise with the song too.

u should see the look on his face, cuteeee (:

after dinner, wanted to go to somewhere relaxing but end up to arab st and had tea. :D

u see.

saturdayy~

went out with susan to survey on some tops and bottoms.

found nothing nice.

and then we waited for iqah like freakinggg long and she dint turn up !

dint even call !

she basically spoiled evryone's mood so instead of walking to cityhall,

we went back to pasir ris and walked back to herda's crib ramai ramai.

i love going her house cause she owns loads of kittens! just loads of them. they're cute and they're sooo small.

i swear i was having bad fringe day.

this is my favourite and wan's too. i call her tutu but im not sure whether its a he or she.

2008-03-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

happy belated bday ayah~
may god bless u with all the good things in life.
loads of kisses from me to you (:

dinner pictures will be upload soon. same goes to thurs outing with susan don and yesterday's pic.
im off to another dinner! (:

2008-03-23T20:12:00.003+08:00

im really really really super sorry if i were attitude towards u yesterday.
sume tak sengaje ):
im sure i did explain to u.

im sorry again~
jangan marah, tak bgs marah marah.
sayang awak eh susan (:
caramel frappe satu siaaaap utk awk ! (:

2008-03-21T02:40:00.003+08:00

i gave sch a miss today, i mean thursday.
i woke up and got myself ready to meet susan to accompany her to nyp.
headed to town after that to eat and we walked around. its been long time since we both last went out together and talk crap all the way and u made my day too. (:

tmrw is friday, i mean today and theres no sch. so that explains why im not asleep yet and im here~
everyone is alrdy asleep except for kikie, luckily he's here to teman me.
and i'll be having dinner with family for ayah's advance bday later~ i cant wait ! :D
saturday will be spend with susan don too.

and its kinda sucky that i was informed stage arts modern dance will be closed.
although most of our performances do kinda suck at times, i still love all of them. i always feel the bondings we always had especially during syf period. only that she dint saw any of it.

2008-03-16T19:28:00.001+08:00

(kak sarah sebok~)

its sunday. i woke up and found noone at home.
whats this ? its sunday, everyone is like supposed to be at home watching tv together.
):
and holidays are over, back to school. ( oiwfhncqwovaljb !!! )

yesterday was saturday.
all my plans clashed clashed clashed~ but i sticked to one which is to celebrate kas bday.
sorry wan i dint support u at smack that 360 comp but congrats though to u and the whole crew, limited edition, who got the first place. (:
now that everything is done, u better spend time with me and everyone eh.
and sorry syazana mayasarah dint support u at danceworks too.

and somehow evrything was kinda boring yesterday especially at sch carnival. (boo~)
but some pple did bright up my day. :D
and the pit was boring too.
whats a family pit without my lovely cousins around ?

happy schooling tmrw (:

2008-03-15T02:07:00.000+08:00

(mater mane eeka, mane ?)

okay, its finally friday and i havent been updating.
busy yo, busy. im enjoying as much i could this holidays. lol.

tuesday -
ryanikie kinda had this last minute plan to east coast with friends.
i was bored so i followed. (:
AND i swear im having this phobia of riding a car. because of the fatal accident which happened right in front of my block. (gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh~)
blood everywhere. kinda felt sorry for the person who died though. ( may u rest in peace- )
(:

thursday-
cousins asked if i wanted sleepover at their place. so, i decided to go with the flow.
arrived boon lay and they surprised me with stepup 2 tix~ WEEEEEEE~
aper lagik, we went to watch it. im sooooooo in love with the moves.
i want to dance like them can ? :D
i think i prefer step up 2 then step up. maybe because its more to the streets.

friday-
i went to masjid for some religious class ( GOOOOOOOD GIRL OR WHATTTT~)
then headed to kk hospital to visit dearest aimin who was warded.
get well soon love ~

now, its saturday. happy birthday to sheera darling and kasilahhh love ! :D

2008-03-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

yesssa~ holidays or whatt.
i dont have to sleep early or even wake up early.
but im not going out today and i have sch tmrw. lol damn~
okay saturday was alright. sunday too.
went out with susan on saturday and munir on sunday.
it was a last minute plan and i did had fun although it was just for a short time.
and susan has to go home early nowadays~ gahh~

and its someone's bday on saturday. yaay!

hah okay, i wanna watch step up 2.
i dont caree~ someone go out with me lahhh. lets go watch step up 2 on thursday.
:D

2008-03-06T19:41:00.001+08:00

i miss everyone in this pic.
):

okay, today had comb. humans paper.
since i've always preferred geog than ss, i did the geog section first.
till i didnt notice i was left with 10 pathetic minutes to do ss.
and when i was doing the ss, i realise the ss was easier.
-________- !! oainvgfskdjvnoh

after the paper, i felt so sick so i went home.
waited for my parents and they came and fetch me. (awww)
went back home and slept till evening~

tmrw will be the last paper ! and then holidayys!
one week pon one week lah. :D

2008-03-04T18:55:00.002+08:00

ehh~ im back. its nice to be this way now.
free from everything but i miss everything too. but no, i prefer things to be this way.
more time for pple and my studies too. (:
farah got me out of dance on saturday somehow but still, i missed cesspit.
damn damn damn and i dint even get to meet some pple.
sunday was the dancework, finally its over and i can go get loads of rest i want :D
but because of the weather and not enough sleep and rest, im down with a bad flu and cough.
and for no reason why, miss literature scolded me for having sore eyes ? (whaatttthhhaaaheell?)

now, i smell one week of stress-free coming.
okay i wanna go bake cookies and study.

p.s to those who came down to support me and the whole the-exo. thnks a lot (:

2008-03-01T01:31:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be the first post in this week im doing.
im busyyyy~ with dance.
and damn. its tomorrow.
yikes! hopefully i wont go cock up the whole thing.
weopvgnsionh!!

i have loads of things to do.
find costume. and i cant find mine!
shittttt~ what the hell am i going to wear ?
and i still have clothes to wash.
i have 3 cigarettes to do on a styrofoam.
i have to wake up early tomorrow.
and if we nvr do good tomorrow, i cant go and watch cesspit.
):
HOWWW ?

shut up and get going eeka!

2008-02-24T22:54:00.002+08:00

yesterday was aidah's birthday. happy bday yo (:

okay ystd was kecoh.
i dint went dance prac and stuffs but i enjoyed my day with susan don.
and i soooo cant wait for this weekend!
quick ~ quick~

ryan afandi kept drooling everywhr. still, he's cute! and he's mine okay herda :D

and today. family day without kakak. to vivo and arab st~

and adek kept saying im slenge and kesian today. hahaha~

and since raudha dint took pic with me ystd, i took pics of myself at herda's crib.

susan, next time buang camera inside tong sampah. (:

2008-02-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

i think i should update more often lah kan but theres nothing to update about.
blablabla~
sch like normal except for some reasons bout the girls.
i guess what they said is true, they changed a lot.
but she has a reason why shes like this.

&i cant wait for next week~
gig and dancework competition. i seriously cant wait for dancework to be over.
(:

some pictures i found ;

2008-02-17T05:06:00.000+08:00

ahh~ its 4.46am
what do u expect ? its saturday of cos im not alseep yet.
although im freakingg tired.

and today is the boringest saturday ever. why eeka ? because i woke up 2pm, bathed and got myself ready for dance prac at marinaaaaa.
prac till 10+ and i dint ate the whole day not till 11pm.
waaaaahhhh~ best ? best uh. why eeka ? because i got to see chingay from rooftop and the fireworkks~
im in love with fireworks lah, abeh ?

i got to meet some people too. JEALOUS TAK SUSAN ? SABRI OI. SABRIIIII! :D
not just that, someone called and told me FREAKING EVERYTHING about someone , someone and someone.
FFCUKKKERRR~
thats the reason behind the whole story lah kan.
god god god god god god.
i seriously dunt know what to say so i better go stop typing about this.

now greattt, tmrw is sunday.
and i think im going crazy cos im so soo so tired.

2008-02-15T14:09:00.000+08:00

valentines day was alrighht actualy.
but my date doesnt want to take pic with me cos he malu.
so its okayyyy~ i went to meet my other dates and i took pic with them.
oh oh ! i got a heart balloon :)
and chocolates from wan. sweet kan ?

okay so instead of doubledate. we went out in 4 couples.
wanted to catch a movie but movie sume mrepek or what. hah~
so we went to eat at swensens. slack and then went back home.
and i dint get enough sleep thats why i was sleepy at sch.

I WANT VALENTINE'S DAY LAGIK~ (:

actualy irah is my real date. tapi ade org potong jalan. NYAHA!

2008-02-14T15:51:00.004+08:00

" Eeka im bored! Eeka i miss u! Eeka, bila o level nk habes! Eeka im sleepy! Eeka i love u! Eeka miss out-of-link hilang mana! Eeka, hi! "

haha.
a msg send by someone ystd when i was studying in sch. lol!

shes one random girl but still, i love her.

im comfortable with her around.

she will always be there for you even when u cry for no reason.

or maybe cry when u're just tired.

shes still there, always trying her best to cheer u up, she gives nice big warm hugs and she always put a smile on ur face.

she can be quite irritating at times and always get on ur nerves

still, shes the best person u can let out ur feelings or problems to.

shes one of those people who understands me the best.

she is herdawatie scott (:

and i kinda miss iqah and i dont know why but the best thing is, everytime i think about her,

she will end up sms or call me the next minute.

like what happened ystd and recently. cool or what ?

its like,

" think of me and i'll be there. " hahaha.

oh yeah! todayy is valentines day babyy~

i enjoyed my day at sch somehow.

i got sweets and even effy made the effort to cook for us something (:

she cooked the food herself and we ate together during recess. how sweet.

(and oh, its nice but tooooooooo spicy)

psssstt~ i have a date. im not gonna tell who right now but i guess some gfs knows who is it.

and yes,

i know im not supposed to be celebrating it or what but lets just take this as one normal date.

or maybe a double date.

and thats zee yo! and this photo was taken last saturday.

her name is izzati and i share the same height as her.

ur posts nowadays seem sad or something, cheer up ookay !

(: eeka loves zee.

oh susan don is like missing in action.

i hope u're doing fine. cheer up too if u're sad about smething.

syg kau eh.

okayy~ enjoy ur day.

i love everyone (:

2008-02-12T16:08:00.000+08:00

like finally i got something out from my mind and changed my link.
hee, thnks to friends too.
(:

erm nothing much happened except last saturday.
those kekek parts righht zee ?
and i guess everyone is getting sick. even me.
):

i have to go now.
im late for dance prac !

2008-02-08T17:40:00.000+08:00

i went to follow the girls out to cityhall.
wanted to find a present for my susan don but i forgot that it was cny's eve and almost all the shops are closed.
so we slack at starbucks instead.
then went home and i slept at 4am and had to wake up at 8am to follow fazillah and fairuza and their friends to sentosa.
i had to follow them but at least it was fun.
made new friends with crazy boys.
(:

and then i went home at 6am cos of some problems.
honestly, i feel embarassed.
why are u like this ? everyone said u were never like this.
what got into u ? why are u with those people ?
dont scold me cos i brought her down.
i did it cos i love u.

think sister, think. its no use to regret later.

2008-02-06T13:13:00.000+08:00

the new mirror.

kak linda and abg wan.

today is cny eve and i dint went to sch. ):
now im bored, nothing to do.
no dance prac. no nothing.
o0oh~ cousin wants me to follow her and friends to sentosa tomorrow.
should i?

and somebody turning SEVENTEEN tomorrow.
cey cey cey.

2008-02-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

no sch today ! gerek or whatt ?

i slept till 2pm. hah~

but now i have to go dance prac.

and im gonna meet kak linda with the whole family later too.

say weee~

more pics will be post up soon or later. cos its still with farahass.

alright. im off to dance prac now.

2008-02-03T17:05:00.000+08:00

heres some ugly pics we took in class on friday.
i just love fridays.
fridays are happy days.
:D

see what i mean.

we were busy having fun while 4g2 had to study. (:

irritating chairman trying to seduce him.

2008-02-03T05:57:00.000+08:00

5.41 am and still not asleep yet.
well, i tried changing my template but
it dint turn out nice ):

ooh well,
having that talk with zyk and herda was fun i guess. i think we should do that more often because sometimes there is just something u gotta let out what u feel about friends. right ?
and i have to admit, what we talked about was almost quite true.
(almost quite true?)
why is everyone changing ? lying ?
or maybe like what we said, some people dont think with their brains.
if only i could go and tell them.
but no, cos on the other side, i know everything will go awkward later.
so yeaah, keep it to myself or just us~

put that aside.
i dint really enjoy my day today that much like how i did yesterday.
friday is the real saturday huh.
im missing a lot of people right now. a lot. no im serious, a lot~
oh excluding him please (:
i wanna go up to each and every one of u to kiss and hug can?
that includes you.
thnks for calling up my name just now but u know, i do really miss the old u.
i miss the old times.
maybe "time pass and people change"
i wish we could settle this once and for all. even if it would be awkward after it or maybe we wont be with each other that close like last time.
i dont mind and i would really want to get over this and just still be friends.
sigh*

2008-01-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

finally i can like update my blog.
and finally theres no prac. at least no more for this week.
(:

i dont know why i tend to get soo irritated and moody these days over such little things. and people.
maybe im having bad day everyday.
or no.
im irritated with dance pracs almost everyday.
and im even irritated with a lottt of people and their irritating attitudes.
i even told someone to go far away from me and my life just becos i was irritated with someone else. i showed attitude towards ayah early in the morning just now becos i was irritated with sister.
everything is not right, i know.
GRRRR~
everything seems to be sooo irritating like fcuk till i feel bursting into tears.
okay stop.

okay so, we went briefing just now. and i totally just wasted my ezlink money and time.
because i rushed back home to get change quickly, but its no use cos i was still late.
and by the time we went there, the briefing was OVER !
-___________-
but andreas did explained everything to us then.
and we are left with exactly one month from now.
i dont think this is good.

i think i wanna go eat icecream now.
to put a smile on my face at least.

oh oh ! u guys wanna know whattt ?
TOMORROW IS FRIDAYYY~!
:D
and shoootttttt! i have social studies class test!!

2008-01-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

i was comparing her phone's camera with mine.

2008-01-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

oooh~
firstly,
happy 16th birthday to ryanikie !
woot woot!
sweet sixteen or whatt.? :D
and sorry for not attending ur partyyy! really sorry.

so yeah,
im back from cousin's homey.
i must say, i feel more relax at her place.
yay~

okay so i met her at boon lay and off to her house.
fairuza changed a lot somehow, i dont wanna say why.
but its okay, at least i enjoyed my stay there this weekend.
(:
todayy~
i've been sleeping like a pig all day.
so yeah, skipped tuition again.
tell me, who would want to wake up early in the morning
furthermore, on sunday to go all the way to bedok reservoir
for a tuition ?
grr~

andd wow. tmrw is monday.
HAIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

and valentines day coming.
i still have no partner to celebrate valentines day together.
):

im sorry but i seriously have nothing exciting or something new to update.
if there is, maybe its too personal.
and i would prefer to just save it than publish it. (:

2008-01-25T13:46:00.000+08:00

im super tired and super sleepy.
u wanna know why ?
cos of sch and dance pracs!
goshhh~
yes its fun but im still not used to the crew yet
and its tiring.

even form teacher told me that i looked reaaaaally tired nowadays.
DUH !
i've been doing hmwks last minute at sch. instead at home.
becos i've been going home late.
and i'll be having dance prac again later.
but i have tuition + im really sleepy + really tired.
and i wanna go out and buy things.
):

---------
and just by looking at those students who took
their results ystd.
i dont feel like taking o levels next year.
gahh~

2008-01-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

everything is blurry
and everyone is so fake.
everyone is changing.
and theres noone left thats real.

i mean it,
everyone.

why ?

2008-01-20T16:29:00.000+08:00

so yeah, i skipped sch on friday
just to send mama and ayah.
they'll be back later in the evening.
ohh i soo miss them.

so on friday,
went to McCafe to visit shikin and i got my own oreo cheesecake.
how sweet~
the best thing that happened that day.
then
i went to meet susan + rad and yeah
everything went smoothly except for one part.
i just dunt know why.
but i wish u both dint went up and say things to him.
thanks for doing this the second time sis,
thnks a lot.
thnks for making me lost my hope.

and i still did thank u for standing up for me.
but at the wrong time.

why must someone destroy everything ?

and cousin,
it was a gig. wad do u expect ?
u're just my cousin, nothing higher rank than me or whatsoever.
u're noone to stopp me from doing things.
i know how to take care of myself.
and i have BRAINS to THINK !
im not stupid to do anything more than that.

maybe nana is right,
i should take things slowly
but
i wish people could just stay out of my way.
and stay out of my life.

if that is really what u want.
then be it.
i'll leave u alone for good.

2008-01-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

2008-01-17T00:04:00.000+08:00

its 11.56pm and im not asleep yett.
i must say,
i've been happy for the past few days. at least at times (:

sch ? hmm.
i skipped fnn after-sch thing on wed and
miss fnn thinks dat i had tuition with boyf. ?
ya lah ya lah. i got boyf aper, abg ajai is my boyf.
not my uncle lah kan.
at least im loving maths, just so much.
*winks.
and i havent been coming for dance prac.
-___- haha.
ookay.
talking bout dance. i dunt know whether i should join them for dancework.
gahh~ i dunt know mann.

and oh well,
im soo not going sch tmrw.
mama and ayah off to bangkok tmrw morning
for some wedding.
and i want to send them. I DONT CARE !
even if mama said i should just go sch. hmph.
parents are more important .?
ookay. i wanna send them.
shut up.

tomorrow friday lah baby.
weehoo or wadd ?
(:

2008-01-14T16:12:00.000+08:00

im now alone at home. and i dont know wad to do.
like seriously, i dunt know wad to do. ..... ?
i dont feel like sleeping cos im gonna wake up late night
and wont get to sleep back.

so dat is why im doing this.
i just wish i have something fun or new to update.
but nahh~

susan baby.

maner ader eh aku feeling hiphop.

2 years ago. will someone just tell her, i miss her so.

i have to go eat now cos i dint eat during recess. and i have maths hmwk to finish up.

2008-01-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

wahsey. my blog like mati alrdy gituk kan.
i've been busy with sch. sch stuffs and blabla these days.
yeah dats why.

sch was alright this week.
i dunt know why. but ookay.
its such sad thing though i found out that kenji wont be with us animore.
he's going to autralia nxt week and will be studying there.
gosh. we're soo gonna miss him and his jokes.
):

and i miss kalamboys. tell them that.
and i kinda feel that im not allowed to sms ttndm animore.

such bad photographer. ish.

i dont care what they say.
im still in love with u.
they try to pull me away.
but they dont know the truth.

2008-01-05T02:42:00.000+08:00

im gonna do one post before i go to sleep.
someone asked me why im not updating my blog.
simply becos im starting to get lazy to.
especially when sch alrdy started.

talking bout sch.
its boring yet fun.
i dunt know whyy. im just trying so hard to concentrate.
no time to daydream now.

and it was just the first day of sch.
when i had this arguement with kakak right after i reach home.
we both was like shouting like two mad girls.
and my arms hurt at dat time becos she gripped it.
i dunt mean to get so rude. but i just cant take it any longer.

but i guess its okay now.
cos we both tried to talk and we baked brownies togeder ystd.
which im eating now.
wee~

okay so, i mati mati wanna go out today.
and had no other plan but to follow them go arab st.
or haji lane. entah lah.
i felt irritated most of time.
i dunt know why and dunt ask.

dan took this.

while i took dis.

okayy.
goodnight now.

2008-01-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

firstly,
happy new year (:

countdown ystd was alright.
all of us dint went home not till 10am.
no, it was me and zea. the rest stayed longer.
we played spin the bottle. AGAIN !
merepek ler dorg.
but evrything was okay.
finally, i got over myself to pull him and talk.
but hasif kinda said.
he's trying to say no. but his heart, yes.
and dats wad i feel.
maybe we're not ready yett ?

ah .
and sch starts tomorrow. im soo not looking forward to it.
soon,
i'll have to start waking up early in the morning.
walk back home after sch.
stay back for extra classes.
go for study sessions with frens.
look at abg ajai's face.
and some other faces.

but over all dat stuffs.
im gonna get to see my frens !
effy, zaa, sya, fara, syaza, jam, dayah, victoria, kelvin, rowena, khai, fauzi.
dan saper saper okayy ?
ah kau. sume aku kluarkan !

dah okay bye !

2007-12-30T16:35:00.000+08:00

dan-ee. eeka. wan-ee and fee.

eh wan, step cute.

birthdayyy girl.

okay. we all look burok and tired here.

ehh munir bin arif.

kate maneee ?

susan giler. da sweatt mcm pig pun force org amek picture.

2007-12-30T16:13:00.000+08:00

i ajak-ed susan
to go dating with me on friday.
but she doesnt want to. how sedih. ):
so, fee sms. and i went to follow her, dan and wan.
to ICA building. paya lebar. den tampines to meet the rest.
it was boring, but okay i guess.

finally,
saturday came at last.
i went out with org sbelah, den met susan.
off to cityhall. eat and lepak at marina sq rooftop.
den wan came with his dxo frens.
when sudah time, we went off to riverside.
waited for them but lambat.
so yeahhh~
sumpah i had fun okay.
except for the first set.
nenekkk~
and someone thought im susan AGAIN.
wahhh~ our face really nampak samer ke ?
haiyo. next time must wear nametag uh.

haha. den the girls started to go like pening and mabuk
im not sure why.
i had to walk with shikin.
and she fell for quite a few times. luckily, the boys were there to help.
shikin kau beratttttt okay !
den countdown to her bday.
and all of us went seashell park.
they drink while me and the rest eat.
haha. and den all of us played
spin the bottle. and had to kiss the person
where the bottle stops at. a boy or a girl.
i had to kiss both. funny but fun.
*winks. hahaha.
and den moved to truth or dare.
den was tired. so we had a talk.
like open talk.

err, i was disappointed and speechless.
but at least he spoke the truth out to everyone.

and now, i cant go out.
):

and i suddenly miss shalihin.
dengdeng~

2007-12-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

superrrrr bored denggs.
maner sume ?
u guys were supposed to go online.
grrr~

and im supposed to go surfers,
but i cant and malas.
and i just finished looking at
khairul's bro's profile.
i swear his pictures are cool and nice.
when i asked khai, whether it was real.
he said yeahh~
he really sew his mouth. dangg~
now dats photography.
so the artistic and fanatic.

and i wanna watch love actually now.

2007-12-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

theres more pictures.

but standard lah, farah belum kasi.

2007-12-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

aha.
KL trip was alright.
went shopping. till ayah and zea thinks i shop a lot.
maybe lah eh.
and laughed almost every minute with makciks, cousin and a fren.

but i dint like the part
when me and zea was disturbed. with things.
the doorbells, the lights.
tak perlu eh.
we stayed there for alrdy the 3rd time
but that was the first time it happened.
and the time we lepak-ed at lobby.
i found out from chief security
there was once a suicide. whooooo~
but luckily dat was the last day.
if tak, i dunt know.
and yes, its crowne plaza mutiara hotel.
right opposite istana baybeh.

yesterday,
wan sms. asking me whether i could
accompany him, hasif and faizal meet farah at lavendar.
i was bored, so why not.
den went to a few shops at jalan besar or wherever it was at.
then shikin came with afad.
we walked. ate dinner.
den walked to haji lane.
had sisha. whoo~ i dint wanna try it.
but they told me to.
so yeah.hahaha.
now my throat hurts.
den took cab and went surfers.
shikin was having problems with her family.
and dint wanna go home yet.
so she blanjer-ed teh at the coffee shop.

den headed to farhan's block.
all of us lied down at the basketball court.
i was listening to the song tears with wan.
when suddenly i rmbr evryting.
i held back my tears. and wan asked me why.
oh my,
why cant these feelings just go away.

i dint know wad to do.
so hasif taught me some songs.
and i played the guitar.
i learnt new things ystd.
(:

still, the memory of u marks everything i do.

2007-12-27T17:19:00.000+08:00

pictures at KL.
just some of it.

4th day.
off from seremban.
to johore. for a wedding.
i got to meet wak rais' son.
susan ! rais kenal. jais takk eh.

3rd day.
was supposed to go back s'pore.
but ayah rmbr deres a wedding. so we stayed at seremban.
we went to the tengku's house. they just moved.
i swear the house was nice.
atas bukit baybeh.

at mak han's house. they said me and ayah slept the same position. haha.

tengku seri athirah with matin.

2nd day.

we dint sleep. and went lobby.

we tried calling mcd delivery. but they kept telling us to call at 3am or 2.45am. grr. so zea and nalo went 7eleven. bought stuffs to eat. and my ice cream ! thnks man.

matin brought down the portable dvd player. and we watched some dvds.

he was calling mcd delivery.

the rest went back.

while i accompanied them to continue shop.

and mama got me a watch (:

2nd day.

went shopping.

and den the rest came later at night.

some of the pictues we took

becos we dint want to get carried away by those feelings.

susan u see datt ! oreo cheese babyyy !

i dunt know wads up with them and black.

1st day.

the view by my room.

2007-12-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

im back bagedils !
trip was alright. i enjoyed.
pictures will upload soon.
but now,
i miss my loves. meeeeeet eeka soooooonnnn~
eeka rindu sumer.

and 29th memanggil aku baby !
:D

2007-12-20T20:20:00.000+08:00

ooh~
im off to KL tmrw morning.
so yeah, dat will explain why im not gonna update for a few days.

yeahh~ i so cant wait to shop.
and have fun with ayah, mama and zea.
take care loves !

2007-12-20T20:14:00.000+08:00

see, shes back. (:

hari rayer haji pics.

burok kapeee.

cute little thing.

2007-12-20T02:16:00.000+08:00

yeah~ finally found a pencilbox at ripcurl.

after rounds and rounds at citylink and marina square.

haha. and i packed all my stationaries alrdy !

semangat kapeeee.

name me anyting. evryting is in it.

puncher, stapler, staple bullets. rulers.

highlighters. coloured pens, tape, sticky notes, calculator.

evryting yaw ! except for glue and correctiontape.

cos i dunt use them. (:

and susan was supposed to ikot but

for some reason she got this kinda mood like klua or dont.

so i got syaf to teman me.

she was hell crazy. like mati mati gituk.
haha.

den had our dinner den sai wanted to meet up, dunt know why.

byk sai nyer harry takde kan.

but i dunt care ler.

me and syaf den went surfers

cos i was damn bored.

talked crap. and they cycled me, syaf and shikin back home.

thnk uuuuu ! (:

and me and shikin finally got to contact ima back.

i swear i screamed like one mad girl. haha.

and maybe we're gonna meet up soon but not sure when.

and guess wad ? adek's back home !

like wee~

and we're gonna celebrate hari rayer haji togeder (:

last saturday. me and bobo (:

makcik syaf.

2 selenge bacins with one pathetic matrep.

:D i swear i was having one irritating bad hair day okay.

okay. i wanna eat wad mama masak.
and talking bout food.
im craving for ben&jerry's cookie dough ice cream.
gahh~ ):

2007-12-18T20:09:00.000+08:00

i had the worst dream just now.

whoa.

mama no longer in this world.

i swear i feel like crying. omg.

but i know its just a dream.

maybe i should i tell her dat i love her. a lot.

when she's back from work later.

and my hp.

the screen cracked ! damn it lah.

i was walking when i accidentally hit it to mama's bed.

saket mater memandang screen ini.

apatah lagi saket bahu memikul.

wad am i gonna say to ayah? damn.

and anw,

i miss adek. so much.

i dunt know but its been few weeks

since i last saw her.

other than dat, i dunt really see her online.

i hope shes safe and fine out there.

come home quick u peanut.

i miss u so.

2007-12-18T19:56:00.001+08:00

2007-12-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

i feel like this kepaler mcm nak meletup.
becos im freaking bored.
all dat i've been doing just now is eat.
and now,
currently waiting for nana to send me pizza.
utk aper ? utk bufday sayer yg da lepas.
thnks a lot nana ! :D
syg kau k penanga deng deng 2 !

okay,
so i just got home.
lepak-ing with syaf and munir.
and i told syaf bout her fren's fren.
which is syahir.
im sorry but
sweet talks dunt work for me yaw.
and so i got farah to msg him smething.
(: haha.

and i swear i miss TTNDM alrdy !
gahh~ im bored without his msgs.

2007-12-16T18:28:00.000+08:00

im back !
:D
chalet was alright.
i did get bored at times.
but evryting was fun.
especially on day 2.
cos it was wan's bufday.
i hope u like the present me and zea gave.
and so, all babies december got sabo-ed.
weee (:

and den went home
and i slept the whole day.
haha.
ystd, i went out with susan, rad and shee.
to cityhall and somerset.
i dint join in the gig.
but i dunt know why i had fun.
(: haha.
and susan's fren freaking thought that im susan.
dengan confident nyer, he call me susan.
ahah, okay kekek lah abeh ?

and im so sorry susan darling
i dint teman u to
ngee ann civic plaza today.
i've been going out almost evryday.
and ayah, zea and akak thinks i shouldnt go to town dat much.
or im gonna get broke. and ayah wont give me $$$.
maybe they're right.
so im not going anywhere today.
except under my block.
to meet syaf to pass some vcds.
and maybe munir. to teman him lepak.

and im so freaking bored.
without my TTNDM. haha.
he's off to malaysia today.
and i got noone to msg with.
):
gahh.
i miss u alrdy lah.

2007-12-16T17:45:00.000+08:00

some pics i found in my hp
during chalet and
some pics of me and susan.

i syg susan mcm my grandma syg my grandpa (:

cos we got eggs all over our hair and body. yucks.

hasif belo.

imran who sanggup layan our karuts from 2am till 8am. haha !

2007-12-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

today is wednesday.

hah.

i think i wont be updating for a few days i guess.

surfers pple will be having chalet today.

and its for wan's bufday. and zyk. and other pple too.

so i'll be overnight-ing over there.

or maybe not. lets see how.

cos i hate staying at home.

noone to do something fun with me.

and i'll end up thinking bout things which i shouldnt.

and i hate it.

so dats why im keeping myself busy.

to not think of anyting.

but no,

cos evryting i do just reminds me of those things.

gah.

and hey munir,

thnks for the call.

see i told u, ur lame shits will always cheer me up.

i cant wait to go KL.

i wanna go KL.

quick. quick. KL is calling me.

and not forgetting,

pahlawan beach too.

but it seems like its raining everyday. ?

and you,

happy our supposed-to-be-very-1st-month anni.

but i guess. everyting is said and done.

if only u know.

i miss u. a lot.

2007-12-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

today,
blogger syg eeka.
so dier kasi sayer upload gmbr.
:D
but there are still other pictures farah havent send.
so i promise i'll upload the rest soon.

2007-12-10T17:35:00.000+08:00

im bored like hell.
boring. bored bored bored !

i was supposed to follow mama
buy my sch books today.
but when i woke up. mama is not at home.
and the books are alrdy on the table.
okay. where is she ?

ystd was cock up.
mcm nbccb. hahaa!
okay. i dont want to elaborate.
let susan do the talking at her blog.

talking bout susan.
she is out with west side boy.
):
and there is noone at home.
):
and the pple i usually chat with is not even online.
):

maybe i should text jiran sbelah.
and lepak.
yeahh.

2007-12-09T04:42:00.000+08:00

i've been sleeping around 2am these days.
and i dunt know why i cant sleep today.
and its 4.18am.
so dat explains why im doing this.
and mama is here with me.
shes watching the vcd she just bought, hikmah 3.
and dat also explains why shes not sleeping.
wahsey. semangat lah mama ni.

yesterday was friday.
and day 1 of skafest.
me and susan went out late.
and met the rest at powerhouse.
i enjoyed myself.
i shall say, dunt skank near susan.
or even STAND near her.
cos i was hit by her twice.
whoish.
and the song, my love, the sallys played for late qeena.
just put me to tears.
i dunt know why lah. but its sad u know ):
so thanks for the hug susan & syafiqah.
and so,
aidin bought me marshmallows chocolate fondue
from chocz, which im eating right now.
surprisingly lah kan.
thnks eh(:

and i went again today.
with diff pple.
i wish susan was there with me.
becos somehow i feel safe with her or rad around.
but at least syafiqah and ryan was there. so yeah.
the last song was the best.
and wan finally decided to join in.
hah.

and not forgetting,
its the twin's birthday today.
happy 18th birthday dearest alee and kiki !(:
they're probably enjoying themselves at today's zoukout.
with adek too.

and tmrw. susan ajak go ska fest, AGAIN.
and i've been going for 3days straight.
im not tired.
somehow, feeling malas. yet excited.
aper ni ?

im waiting for farah to send me pics.
i just love her camera tau !
but blogger hates me. and wont allow me to post pics.
):

2007-12-06T15:08:00.000+08:00

firstly,
happy 17th birthday hasif.
and happy belated to dan.
(:

we celebrated his birthday ystd.
even though it was raining. grr.
everyone got sabo-ed. even me.
but not dat terok lah. (:
zahrin was more irritating.
brought one egg with him. hah.
and the cake was nice.
bob the builder. maner nak dapat oi ?
:D
AND
i found a fren of mine whom i thought wouldnt drink,
drunk.
i have to admit, i dint like it.
and dats the reason why,
i stayed with u all the way.
telling u to force those vomit all out.
please tell me,
u're not taking it anymore.
gah~

i found myself got slap by hasif.
telling me to wake up.
and 4 pple advising.
with a sister, giving comments to him.
till now, i dunt even know whether those comments are something good or bad.
wad could get worse ?
with dat kind of situation and dat kind of health.
i feel embarassed.
yet, thnkful and grateful.
cos i have pple standing up for me.
and pulling me up.

sometimes, i just wish.
i could stay at perth.
and not to come back.
...........

okay maybe not.
haha.

and somehow,
i cant wait for friday. (:

2007-12-05T12:58:00.000+08:00

finally i got to meet susan.
wee~
we're supposed to watch her fren, syasya.
performance at ngee ann poly.
but for some reason,
we were slenge and
we walked the long way.
and so the performance ended
by the time we reached there.
):
so i told her to at least say hi to her fren.
and the line terputus.
hah.

so we went cityhall.
i swear i feel like pengsan in the train.
becos i dint eat the whole day.
and walked around mcm org tak saket.
so went old chang kee quickly and bought something
for myself. so at least dapat makan.
although i dunt feel like eating, i forced myself to.
so me and susan sat at 3 places.
the court, the bridge to merlion and the marina rooftop.
we were enjoying the breeze.
but the best was at rooftop.
was dark, and nobody was there.
so we lie down, sang songs and watch the skies.
wee~ thnks eh. i enjoyed okay !

and i got the decision ystd.
im fine with it but im not showing wad i feel.
yes, i miss harry.
but surprisingly aidin said
i shouldnt be sad,
cos the pple i love and care. was there when i needed them.
so why get sad over a guy who doesnt know wad im feeling ?
and i should appreciate wad i have now
and not to count wad i have lost.

i have my frens here with me.
and my family too.
i dunt wanna lose any of them, suddenly.
zaa,
i know how u feel, to lose a bestfren
who was there for u for 8 years.
and ur post just made me realise i should
appreciate my loves.
qeena is in a better place now.
lets just pray she'll rest in peace.
i promise i'll give u a big hug when we meet.
and i promise i'll be here for u if u need anyone.
(:

i should end now.
i seriously need to eat any medicine.
talking bout it,
i vomitted ystd.
its getting worse lahh bodoh.
from soar throat,
to losing my voice,
to difficulty breathing,
to coughing non-stop,
to vomitting.
to going pengsan-ing.
omg.

2007-12-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

i suddenly miss abg mizi.
i rmbr how sweet he was.
to bring my fav choc, boost. all the way here.
and not forgetting his lovely cupcakes and chocolate truffle cakes.
):

and i think im getting better.
i dunt have to sleep with 5 pillows underneath my head.
and i realise dat these things is affecting my health.
and i dunt want it to get worse.
cos i kinda had difficulty breathing cos of my throat somehow.
and i think i shouldnt take things too seriously.
i am scared of 5th dec. im afraid of the truth and decision.
but eventually, no matter wad his decision is.
i'll still have to stand myself up and continue walking.

and nana,
it actually works okay pantat !
so , i called wan ystd.
to accompany me to the beach.
and den farah tag along.
with them beside me, i feel better.
i seriously feel better. it kinda relax my mind and realise something.
thnks eh korg.
so after dat, we ate cup noodle by the beach.
cute kann ? i know.
(:

and im gonna meet susann tmrw !
say weeeee :D

2007-12-02T16:54:00.000+08:00

oh good.
i just woke up.
i havent woke up late like this before.
okay maybe becos i slept at 6+
becos evrytime i wanted to sleep,
i will just cough badly.

i dint went home like the usual time i did ystd.
the sight of those pple, just made me rmbr things.
and i cried.
and syafiqah & wan knows i need a hug somehow.
thnk you (:
so,
the food and drink that farah blanjer,
somehow made my throat worse.
wan thinks i should go visit the doctor.
but i dunt think im dat sick.

gah~
from nose block,
to soar throat.
and now, i lost my voice.
and i will keep coughing evry a few minutes.
gahh.
i feel like im ...
no nvm.
im okay and i will be fine.

and nana gave me this idea to go to the beach.
and relax.
and im off to the beach now.

tell susan,
to go home quick.
cos i miss her.

tell zee,
i miss her alrdy.

2007-11-30T04:54:00.000+08:00

just when i thought he's the one,
its not.
and he left.

giving u a chance to be in my life.
cos i thought u're the one.
becos u were always there for me.
u always lend me ur shoulders evrytime i cried.
u brighted up my days with all ur craps.
& certainly becos i know u're not like the previous lover.
u're not gonna do wad he did to me.
but i guess im wrong and i did one big mistake.
im not gonna cry again.
but it hurts me just so much.
those things he did behind my back
is still haunting me.
and i thought u're not going to do those things
and will try to prove me wrong.
but do u still remember when u said u're not like him ?
no, u're wrong my dear.

why ? why now ?
after all those days im with u.
listening to ur probs at home.
trying to always be there for u.
helped u when u're in need.
telling u to stay strong, to go back home.
tell me,
do i look like one girl with no feelings ?
now wad wrong did i do ?
i believe i dint do any wrong.
in fact,
i was trying so hard to not let things happen.
so u wont go.
hours before this,
u told me to promise myself not to leave u.
but look wad happened.

why me ?
why do i always get these things ?
i feel soo blank,
nothing to say.
those feelings just came back,
it hurts so much that i answered
dont know to every ques my frens asked.
i cried so much
till like im out of breath.
out of tears to even cry for u !

but i had to stop.
nothing was worth it.
my tears prove something,
but u just dint see it.
and i know its not worth it now,
cos nothing i do will keep u from staying
when ur heart is with her. and not with me.

and things are too late now.
i promised myself the day when i accepted u
to face the consequences,
which is these problems, all by myself.
so im dealing with it.
on my own.
i am going to move on.
and i cant force u to be with me.
get her back and be happy dear ex.

but still, i know i wasnt ready.
and i gave u that chance.
this is wad i get. ?

i need herda, susan,
zee, ayu, syaza, didie, shikin.
give me a big long hug someone.

2007-11-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

im sick.
my nose is blocked.
my eyes are swollen.
i cant swallow my saliva properly.
i talk like one sengau girl.
i kept feeling of throwing up. only its not vomit.
but just all saliva.
and my body feel hot.
gahh. hate it when im sick.
especially like this. i feel uncomfortablee lahhh!
ergh!

i went to meet boyf just now.
and i cried again.
i feel like im such a useless gf.
i kept saying and doing small mistakes
w/o thinking it could affect our relationship and his feelings.
oh my.
okay, evrything's fine now.
so yeah.

and i need a job.
my bill is so freaking melambung.
i calculated it somehow.
and i feel scared now. ayah is soo gonna be mad.
i want to at least get a job.
to show him at least im trying to pay some for that bill.
anyone knows where i can get a job.
tag me.
pleaseeee .

&i cant upload pictures.
ERGH !

2007-11-27T15:40:00.000+08:00

i think i should update.

lets see.
so
saturday-
i went out with them.
i heard we were supposed to go ice skating.
but tak jadik.
so we went bowling at marina sq instead.
it was fun.
had loads of shouting and screaming.
shikin was with us. so i was freaking happy.
with syaf also.
the girl who lives behind my blk.
i just got to know her.
and we called each other jiran sbelah.
how cuuute.

sunday-
went to meet boyf.
he was irritating. and i was irritated.
but i enjoyed sitting under the voiddeck with him.
and laughed like nobody's business.
hah.
and den went dinner with zea + parents.
yumm. and i think im getting fatter than zea.
whoa.

monday-
went out with raudha.
with her fren, feefa and syiha. (is the spelling correct?)
i think lah.
i laughed almost the whole time.
they're funny and cutee lah.
and how sad,
somehow we cant sit at highway of freedom anymore.
):
so went back and went to eat under voiddeck with susan.
and talk bout stuffs.
when suddenly wan called me abt qeena.
i was speechless. i dint know wad to say.
so i called zaa and asked her abt it.
so zaa, stay strong okayy ?
im always here if u need me.

and i quarelled with boyf.
i was stupid and becos of my small mistake.
it affected many things.
but im glad he gave me the second chance.

and today-
i need to meet ayu later.
to take my things.
and pass her back hers.
gahh~

i'll upload pictures soon okay ?